The Answer is in the Question*

I gave up New Year’s resolutions a long time ago, mostly because they engender more guilt than results. It’s no fun to look at a long list of things I should be doing – especially when I know I probably won’t do them. It’s too much useless pressure in an already pressure-filled world. But I definitely need work, so I simplified the resolution idea by picking out one or two main themes for the year – something I can easily remember and work on. For those of us who are easily distracted by shiny objects, this was a breakthrough.

One year my theme was patience. You know that one: the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties. Well, that was especially difficult for me and it actually took several years, which – you guessed it – made me more impatient than ever. Over time, however, I made small improvements and I can honestly say I am more patient now than I was before.

When it comes to law firm marketing resolutions for 2008, where to start? What could possibly need improving? (Yes, that’s rhetorical.) Is there something that would apply to law firm marketers and lawyers alike?

I’ve been wracking my brain and I think I’ve finally hit on it. If we all focus on this for the whole year, every aspect of our lives will be better, more fun and more interesting. Give up? Ta da, here goes:

 1.        Listen well.

 2.        Ask good questions.

Sound too simple, too basic? Make no mistake, active listening is hard work. And if you incorporate what you hear into the questions you ask, it can be all-consuming – like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. It takes concentration and focus, but in this case, the rewards are huge. When someone really listens, asks questions and takes a genuine interest in what we’re saying, we feel heard. I don’t know about you, but when I feel heard, I feel valued.

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”

Wilson Mizner

A Case in Point

A client of mine was going to visit a prospective client. These are the main suggestions I offered:

1. Do your homework and learn as much as you can beforehand.
2. Make a list of the questions to ask that will help you fully understand the people and their situation.
3. Review the article on listening (ok, I wrote it for MN Lawyer. It’s at JoanAutrey.com).
4. Don’t impress them with what you know. Impress them with what you know to ask.

Here’s what happened:

“I began to prepare for the meeting by reading over some of the materials you have provided over time. I developed a simple strategy to use based on your suggestions. I met the president at the company offices and immediately asked for a tour of the facilities. We then met with the CFO. The next two hours were filled with the two of them answering a series of questions about the nature of their business, business plans, management style, competitors, legal needs, accounting firms, plans for dealing with growth, acquisition plans and a whole range of other topics. I didn’t say anything about myself until finally the CFO said, ‘The point of this meeting was to find out if we fit with you. Do you like our company? Would you like to work for us?’”

This is a true story. He got a new client because he listened really well and asked good questions. If you coach lawyers, encourage them to do the same. Their success with business development depends on it. Most of them know how to do it. It’s just that they often think that successful selling is all about talking. It’s not.

“Studies of sales, negotiations, management interactions, performance interviews and group discussions – have all come up with the same basic fact: There’s no doubt about it, questions persuade more powerfully than any other form of verbal behavior.”

                                                                                            Neil Rackham, Huthwaite, Inc.

We are never in conversations where all we do is listen and ask questions. There is always a natural give and take. When you coach lawyers or do your work in the marketing department, your job this year is to listen better and more, and to ask more and better questions.

“The trusted adviser has skills that turn conversations into meaningful discussions that make people want to seek you out. Listen more than you talk; ask questions that broaden people’s perspective, instead of telling them how to think or what do to..”

                                                                           “Leading From Below,” WSJ, March 3. 2007

Yes, the answer is in the question. The question is also in the answer. Listening more and asking good questions are deceptively simple and powerful skills. For 2008 resolve to take them out, dust them off and use them every chance you get – over and over until they become habit. This strikes me as something we can all accomplish this New Year. It’s even simple enough for me to remember.

“A wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions.”

                                                                                                     Claude Levi-Strauss

“When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.”

                                                                                                                              Anonymous

By Joan Autrey, Marketing Consulting for Professional Service Firms. Find out more at JoanAutrey.com under “Listen Up.” If you would like a brief list of excellent articles on this topic, please let me know. I’d be happy to send it to you.

*I’m not exactly sure who originally coined this phrase. It sounds like Ben Franklin. I do know it’s a favorite of Liz Lockett’s father (she’s the LMA-MN President-Elect from Gray Plant Mooty). It’s also a Bob Seger song.